Pass The Pen: Ceta Walters
I’m so excited to introduce you to our October Boss Babe, Ceta Walters, for so many reasons. She is one of my favorite ‘follows’ on Instagram not just because of her incredible style and gorgeous content, but she also shares her journey in life, as a mother, and business woman in such an authentic and real way. She is also a breast cancer survivor and is such an inspirational advocate for research and prevention. So, what better month to welcome Ceta to our incredible village of The Happy Place as our Boss Babes than Breast Cancer Awareness Month!
I recently had a chance to ask Ceta a few questions to help all of us to get to know her better and I urge you to check out her gorgeous @clarkandstone!
Xx,
Jo
I mentioned I love your style! I’m sure you get asked to describe it all the time! So instead of that, help us achieve a little bit of that magic! As we are rolling into fall and with the holidays right around the corner, are there any staples or must have’s that are on your shopping list?
I am asked how to describe my style quite a bit. I always say I'm classic, edgy, with a little bit of boho. My must have for fall are leather (faux or real) and knits. I love the faux or leather leggings and skirts. I'm really crushing over the 2020 take on a classic twin set. I am seeing and loving lots of cardigans and bra tops. My boys wear judgy pants so I will wear this trend with a white button down shirt under the bra top. lol. I also love the sweater vest trend. I'm also in love with the boss babe suiting trend. We can never have enough suits.
Raising happy, healthy, well-adjusted kids isn’t easy. Now throw in the inevitable curveballs of life AND THEN A PANDEMIC! Do you have any ‘hot tips’ for the mom’s out there? How are you holding it together?
I've learned thanks to breast cancer to ease up a bit. I've removed the unrealistic expectations that I had for them. They watched way more television that I would have liked thanks to the pandemic but we were all just trying to survive. I use to only allow 30 minutes of screen time that meant television or ipad on the weekend. I bought lots or word search books for us to do outside of screen time. Uno and I declare war became our best friend. Before my bilateral mastectomy, I would take them on a bike ride or a walk to get some fresh air and exercise. I also let them help me in the kitchen. Baking cookies are our favorite past time. Now, when I can't take another minute of being Mary Poppins, I throw on a long movie. lol
You just celebrated your birthday AND blog birthday! Happy, happy! I also know that October marked a year since you were diagnosed with Breast Cancer. Needless to say this month is both celebratory and represents an incredibly life changing moment for you. I deeply admire how you share your journey so candidly. Reflecting on all of the change and adversity is there one word or idea you have clung to throughout this past year?
Strong! We are all stronger than we think. Strong is the word that I have clung to to get me through this past year. I filed for divorce 6 months before I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I really thought divorce would be the hardest thing I would have to get through in 2019. Deciding to get divorced is so hard and I felt so empowered in my decision in choosing my happiness over history. The amount of years are often used to determine if a marriage is successful and not the quality. So while I was married for 13 years, I wasn't happily married but stayed because I didn't want my boys to grow up in two separate households. They have sad moments but far more happier ones when we are all together for family time. I'm forever grateful for my "wusband" (he was my husband) and I choosing to be amicable. Not dragging each other through the courts in a nasty custody/divorce battle, gave my boys the foundation for weathering the real storm which was my breast cancer diagnosis. I allowed myself to feel the pain of my life as I knew it before cancer for about two weeks. Then, I had to be strong for Clark and Stone's sake. I felt like they had gone through enough. I had moments when I wasn't strong and I allowed them to see me in those moments. But, what I wanted most for Clark and Stone ws for them to see how I handled adversity because we will all face adversity in our lifetimes and I didn't let it define me.You recently shared a video on your page about the statistic that 1 in 8 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer.
The image of you and 7 of your friends was so beautiful and also jolting. And when you said ‘I’m the 1’, my heart skipped a beat. Early detection, awareness, and research are all such important messages to continue to share. Can you expand a little bit on that video? How we can arm ourselves if we are ‘the 1’ or how we can all step up for ‘the 1’ in our lives?
When I was diagnosed with breast cancer I didn't want to go public with my diagnosis. I wanted to crawl under a rock. Then, I became angry that I started a blog because I felt I had to share. I know the reality is I don't owe anyone an explanation for my life. However, in the world of social media especially with young girls and women, we are always comparing ourselves. Many people don't get that my Clark and Stone instagram feed is curated. A follower posted a comment a few years ago that my life was perfect. I was taken aback quite a bit by that comment because they didn't know me. That comment was my motivation to share. I have shared my infertility journey with Clark, being a motherless daughter, and later divorce. But, breast cancer was far more personal. But, it was real and I said to myself ``how can I share my life?" without "sharing my life." I decided to post a picture of the 8 of us because it hits home. As women, we all have our best girlfriends. the statistic of 1 in 8 hits home to any woman and I needed it to hit home. There are many things that you can do to help prevent breast cancer. Feel it on the first is the first. It is so important to do a self check breast exam. Eat a balanced diet of fruits and vegetables, exercise, get sleep, manage your stress levels and limit alcohol intake. The truth of the matter is you may do all of those things and still get it. My grandmother never drank or smoked a day in her life and had breast cancer. We don't give cancer to ourselves. I never blamed myself. I never felt like I gave myself breast cancer. The best way to step up for the "1" in our lives is by showing up. That means sending a text message, phone call, visit, food (cooked or delivery), taking her kids, going to doctor's appointments. Cancer was my pandemic before the pandemic began. It feels so isolating. My best friend Andrea went to every single doctor's appointment and treatment until the pandemic hit. My best friend Kerri that lives in Atlanta called/texted me every day from the day I was diagnosed. I have said cancer gave me three gifts, love, gratitude and community. My friends really rallied around me and showered me with love. I have a friend who was diagnosed a few weeks before me and took my kids for a playdate when she has three of her own. One friend offered her lake house for the boys and I to get away for a few days. I am eternally grateful that I didn't have to deal with cancer "ghosting". It happens and it's horrible. Friends basically have to show up speaking the cancer patients' love language. I had two friends just come visit and stood at my gate and we talked for two hours during the pandemic. I needed to see the faces of my loved ones.
I am a big believer in reflection and using those lessons and experiences to move forward. I admire that in you. You truly are such a positive example of what it means to endure and thrive and survive. Looking forward, how are you taking the experiences of the past year into what lies ahead?
Thank you so much. I really had no idea sharing my story would turn into so many amazing opportunities. I was recently on a zoom call with Hoda Kotb and the breast cancer board I sit on and she said breast cancer made her fearless. I was fearless when I filed for divorce and my survivorship was starting to create fear until I heard Hoda speak. Turns out she was also going through a divorce while battling cancer. Before my cancer diagnosis, I was working on becoming the "man my mom always wanted me to marry." I was basically learning how to become financially independent again. My soon to be "wusband" was an amazing provider and I was a stay at home mom until Stone started junior kindergarten. Then, my diagnosis knocked the wind out of my sail and I began to worry about money and health insurance. Now, I'm back. I very much live by the "Life is Too Short" because it really is. I'm working hard and open to opportunities (like this one) for me and my sons. And, I owe it all to making my pain my purpose. I have learned to go with the flow. I am a recovering type A personality. The stress of being perfect isn't worth it anymore. I now know how to protect my peace in relationships. I had a stupid argument with a best friend. I was so angry. In my mind, I was so done with her. I now feel my stress in my chest. I had to take several deep breaths. Then, I immediately looked at the situation from her point of view. Then, I looked at how much I value her in my life and I called her after I calmed down to resolve it. I now look at problems as us vs. the problem and not me vs. the person. I never looked at conflict like that. Yet, I am still a work in progress. I'm under construction. However, this time, I get to rewrite the blueprints as many times as I see fit with the ultimate goal being happiness.